“A disco ball is hundreds of pieces of broken glass put together to make a magical ball of light.
You are not broken.
You are a disco ball”
Ruby’s theme for her Come As You Are photo session was Disco Ball.
And let me tell you, she brought all the sparkly energy to the studio that day!
I mean, those boots!!
If you follow her on Insta, you’ll soon learn that she’s always bringing the bold, the colorful, and the sparkle to pretty much everything she does.
“I get to live and express my creativity out loud.
Sure, I have done so for many years, but on the inside I felt judged even when it wasn’t true.
Now it doesn’t bother me. That comes with age.
I get to live colorfully and out loud and for all to see.“
When Ruby said she wanted to do a disco ball theme, I immediately went into search mode and found a disco ball backdrop, as well as some mylar sheets, disco balls and some disco ball lights.
You really can never have too many disco balls. That’s not a thing.
One question I asked Ruby was,
How does being over 40 make you feel?
“Forty seems a very long time ago. I’m inching closer to 58.
Some days because of my chronic health and pain issues, I’m tired, life weary and truthfully ready to crumble.
Other times I feel more confident, full of life and excited for what is ahead and feel more youthful than I did even before 40…and often all those feelings can be experienced all in one day.”
One of the goals of this project is to show everyone that age isn’t a negative. It isn’t something to be afraid of.
And that aging certainly does not have to be done, or look, a certain way.
How you approach your aging is part of your story, not society’s.
Societal Norms can take a big fat flying leap on this one!
I asked Ruby about her life now compared to 20 years ago, and she said,
“Twenty years ago was a time of a lot of change, a lot of upheaval and I often viewed life as very boxed in, dictated as to who I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to act etc.
Even if on the outside I was portraying the complete opposite, but in reality it’s only since being 40 plus, then 50 plus, that my inside dialog is matching what I’m showing to the outside.
Do I miss my youth, there are times, sure, I’m human.
I sure miss not needing to figure out how to hide certain visual effects of aging for my own personal vanity, missing how I could loose a few pounds if desired, missing how I had more energy and didn’t need a drawer full of pills.
That being said, I absolutely love celebrating reaching the age I am.
Love not caring if people look at me cross eyed for dressing, or doing my make up in anyway and anything but expected, my natural silver hair with wild imperfect curls included. It’s freeing.”
There is a theme that I am seeing with the 40+ people I am engaging with:
as we reach higher levels, we also seem to lose a lot of fucks.
There is such freedom when you do not care what someone else thinks. And I don’t mean that in an unkind or narcissistic way.
What I’m referring to is that fearful internal dialogue of,
“will they like me?”
That starts to fade.
Because, if you show up as authentically as you can, and “they” don’t like you – then, you know who not to waste your energy on.
I also asked Ruby what she would tell her 20 year old self,
“Oh my that could be a book.
I think I would say don’t be in such a rush, but in addition, live life, go for your dreams and ignore the negative, fear based, judgmental voices.
Both those of others, but also the ones in my head.
There’s more… but …yep, a book.”
Speaking of books, she also mentioned not judging a book by its cover or its age because,
“you never know what story is held within the pages;
it could surprise and inspire you more than you ever could fathom.”
And that’s another reason I wanted to do this project.
The judgements some people make when they glance at a person – the assumptions they hold based on how someone looks, what they wear, how they eat their yogurt – whatever.
Like, stop.
Allow yourself the pleasure of observing how damn beautiful and rich we ALL are, no matter our ages.
Get curious about someone’s real story. Be open to being surprised.
I’m going to end Ruby’s story with a favorite quote she shared.
t’s one she has tattooed on her, and I think it embodies quite a bit of why this project exists.
We can either decide to stand on the sidelines of our life and simply watch things unfold.
Or we can choose to take a risk on ourselves, no matter where we are in life, and go all in.
I choose to go all in.
“… the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse…” Walt Whitman
